Emotions and self-awareness

Emotions are often felt spontaneously in the face of a situation and linked to physical sensations, such as a change in heart rate or body temperature, or an overdose of energy. We experience emotions every day. Some stay with us long and intensely, while others may go unnoticed or reappear several days after an event. Whichever the case, these are your best allies in giving you clues as to what’s going on in your life, and what makes you feel good or not.

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WHAT ARE EMOTIONS FOR?

Six basic emotions are generally recognized: joy, anger, sadness, fear, disgust, and surprise. These can be felt at different intensities or in a variety of other emotions. Emotions are the messengers of your needs. The more precise you are in naming your emotion, the easier it will be for you to connect with the associated need and adapt to your environment. Take a look at the illustration below to help you practise.

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Watch Vivre la vague … d’émotions.

Here are a few examples to help you understand how an emotion can inform you of a need.

Anger can signal the need to assert yourself in response to a need that is not being met or a boundary that is not being respected.
Sadness can indicate lack of comfort and the need for it when faced with loss. Expressing it can help you accept your loss and move on.
Fear can indicate a need for protection, to distance yourself from a situation, or for reassurance.
Joy can be a sign of wonder and a need to share news or events.
Surprise can make you react quickly to a situation to help you adapt.
Disgust can be a sign of discomfort with a situation or environment, to distance yourself from it or denounce it.

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Listen to Elisabeth’s story

WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR EMOTIONS?

Emotions are generally fleeting and do not always indicate an urgent need to act. In fact, it’s advisable to take the time to feel the emotion and identify it before taking action. Here’s what you can do.

Feel it

To feel an emotion is to give yourself the right to experience it while respecting your personal limits and those of others, but also to deal with the discomfort it generates. Some people tend to repress their emotions or have an emotional overflow and explode. In any case, remember that simply breathing slowly when you’re experiencing an emotion will help you connect with it, either to soften its intensity or to help you feel it. Other interesting strategies for connecting to your feelings or tolerating discomfort include writing, art, music, yoga, meditation, sports, walking, and so on.

Identify it

What do I feel and why? This involves naming the emotion you feel and the need associated with it. It’s not always easy to identify what’s going on inside you, but putting words to what you’re experiencing can help you understand the message your emotion is trying to convey. Like an onion skin, try to see if there isn’t something lurking beneath the basic emotion. The figure below can help you develop this vocabulary and be more precise in identifying your emotion. If the same emotion comes up again and again in similar situations, or if it increases in intensity, it’s probably trying to make you understand something important.

Take action

What to do? Identifying your emotion and the need associated with the previous step will go a long way to answering this question. Depending on the situation, there are different ways of taking action. For example, when faced with a recurring emotion, you can address the situation with the person(s) concerned, make a change in your schedule or lifestyle, end a friendship or romantic relationship, let go of a secret by talking to someone you trust, or ask for help

KEEPING A JOURNAL: WHY NOT!

A diary can be a useful tool to get to know yourself, exploring your emotions and behaviours, and better responding to your needs. The idea is to describe your emotions without restraint on a daily basis. Putting them into words will enable you to express them more easily, to see if they recur, and to perceive which ones are more intense in certain areas of your life. This type of writing can also lead you to nuance what you feel and to be more and more precise.

An interesting variation of the emotional diary is the gratitude diary in wich you can regularly writing down the things you appreciate in life, no matter how small. It could be as simple as having slept well, feeling the warmth of the sun on your face, or running into a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while. This kind of practice is useful if you feel that you’re talking negatively about yourself or life in general. It’s a daily reminder that it’s not all doom and gloom!

Many applications you can download on your phone offer journaling features. Take a look at this list of applications.

IS THERE A LINK BETWEEN MY THOUGHTS AND MY EMOTIONS?

Yes, thoughts can be positive or negative and have the potential to generate emotions and vice versa. In short, what you think influences how you feel, and the reverse is also true! Where you need to be careful is that thoughts are not always a reflection of reality and can be the result of distortion linked to past experiences or future anticipations.. That’s right! Our brains sometimes lie to us! If you ruminate on thoughts in a negative, rigid or exaggerated way, try to take a step back and observe your thought objectively and independently of how it makes you feel. To adopt this observational posture, you can also ask yourself the following questions:

What use is this thought to me?
Is this thought overly critical of me? Can it be nuanced?
Does this thought bring me closer or further away from what’s important to me?
Does this thought hinder or provoke my actions?
Does this thought lead me to avoid certain people or situations, or to enter into conflict with them?

What to remember

Emotions are the messengers of your needs. The more precise you are in naming the emotion, the easier it will be to connect with the associated need.

Emotions are generally fleeting. If the same emotion comes up again and again, it’s probably a sign that you need to address a situation.

Depressed feelings, such as sadness or anger, are not necessarily a bad thing. They indicate a need that you need to explore, express, and fulfill.

Try as much as possible not to act on emotion. Taking slow breaths will help you soften the intensity of an emotion or connect with what you’re experiencing.

Thoughts don’t always reflect reality. Try to distinguish between those that slow down or precipitate your actions and those that lead you to act according to your real needs or values.

Services at your institution?

If you’re looking for professional help, most cegeps and universities offer a variety of support services for their students. Take a look at this page to find out what’s available at your institution.

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